Disjointed Thoughts

My mind has been reeling with a steady stream of incomplete thoughts waiting for further development.

Writing is the way I typically process, but lately the words no longer flow.

Several thoughts remain stranded. This is a feeble attempt to begin the process of reconciling my heart with my mind.

NUMB.

As I unpack my heart I find a deep ache in my soul. A longing without knowing what it longs for.

And the location where my heart currently resides resembles the dentist’s office.

Numbness. Indifference. Apathy.

I don’t quite know the root of the numbness, but I imagine it must be something along the lines of protection, self-preservation, a coping mechanism.

Perhaps if I allow myself to feel the emotions, my soul will succumb to despair.

One of these days, I know that the anesthetic will wear off.

In fact, I can already sense my heart beginning to thaw; I just hope I’m ready to deal with it when it starts to melt.

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2 responses to “Disjointed Thoughts

  1. Sit down and read the Psalms. B4 long you will be filled with the thoughts of David and some of the other psalmists. In those psalms are the thoughts David and his friends that they received while in God’s presence. Use your coloring pencils to highlight what strikes you. Pretty soon your mind will be flooded with good thoughts. If a psalm starts in melancholy, it ends up in ecstasy. There are no numb thoughts there.

    I go to your site to enjoy your description of Africa and what you experience.

    Joaozinho de Londrina

  2. Blogging keeps me insane. Keep up all the positive work. I too love to blog. I found this one to be very informative

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